it is very very embarrassing and morally dejecting,
to have a document prepared and sent, to be resent back to me,
so i could make amendments and resend it again...
next thing you know, there are still mistakes within the documents!
its incredibly terrible how i can not be perfect in checking my work,
i tried and tried to check it numerous times, but there's always mistakes,
discovered by someone, makes me feel very lousy for being careless,
because of my carelessness, someone else had to do the checking,
which means they are doing my work, how can i accept that?
my carelessness means wasting someone's else precious time,
this is unforgivable.
but i am super stressed out trying to be perfect,
trying to attain something better,
trying so hard to climb up the ladder,
sometimes i try, but cant seem to enjoy life or work,
because i am always afraid of my mistakes,
its really a very heavy feeling almost feels like a punishment.
i have to be extra careful, extra attention and extra cautious,
but i also need to learn how to relax and let go, balance...
its 1230am now, i should really stop working and go to bed
and be ready for a 12pm discussion call tomorrow. its work again.