there's a saying that goes "if you dont know where you are going, you will end up no where"
shit, i think thats soooo true because i feel like im not going anywhere when i start navigating, im like a cow with a ring on my nose being pulled here and there listening in to all the advice given to me, considering all the restrictions now (note, i didnt use opportunity here because i feel like a pessimist today) all these choices makes things look so bleak to even start thinking about the next step of my life!!
does this mean i dont have enough wisdom or maturity to make my own decision? i hate the idea that i am 26ish and still struggling to make decisions, whats lacking in my life or character i wonder that i cant even freaking make my own decisions? someone says its the people i hang around with, they say i should change my circle of friends, i think thats bias and i dont agree with this statement at all, you could be friends with a 6 year old and learn the most valuable lesson in life, there is no limit as to who a person should mix around with to learn anything because you can learn from absolutely anyone even from your worst enemy!!
i am struggling to decide on which course to apply, because applying itself is a tedious and expensive process, with each day that goes by, im losing a semester after a semester, i already missed the Fall Semester application, i should be aiming for Winter or Spring right now....
first, i shall try using EXTREME examples and the WORST case scenarios in each of the courses below in order to know whether i can put all my effort heart and soul in doing....
next, i will ask myself if there are no obstacles in whatever i want to study, which one would i pick? i already know the answer, i'd pick languages!!!! but i cant give you an answer what am i going to do after taking a language course cos everything looks bleak.... teaching assistant? is that really my patience, sorry i meant, passion? i did some research, there are some positive outlook in industries that requires communications like training, copywriter, recruitment but the geographical location is a main concern too because i have scott to think about and a life together, but in truth i dont mind living in latvia, bosnia, russia, africa, portugal, argentina, if i am alone and not need worry about another person, i mean living anywhere in this world just with my language skills is a dream come true, but can i speak 13 languages? nope!!! Technically i can only speak Asian languages, so if i even want to be in east/west europe or latin america or south africa, it would be hard hard work, but somehow i know im ready and up for it, i can already imagine myself googling in russian haha!! see thats how happy and chirpy i am talking about language!!! anyway, here's top 5 ......
1. Communication / Media studies - this seems like the obvious path, because thats what i know in school for the looooooongest time and something i know i can 'comfortably' take up and learn again... if not learn, at least pass the course and get a decent job, maybe at the same time part time language? but how much more communication studies can you study? its not even a REAL skill or REAL knowledge, these are things where you learn up over time.... whether or not you are in communication studies, dont you agree?? and obviously language is most essential in this.
2. Sports - this is my growing passion, if not a passion im very happy living in it right now, its prbbly the best job in the world (without the money stress plus more nice and understanding clients like the ones i like to talk to on the phone) i see so much future in sports and i want to live the moments in sports, but where do i start for a sports course, the dream school is in Switzerland not Canada, and even if I choose to do course in Canada, the most well loved sports by the nation is not something im familiar with and im not even sure if i'll even grow to like it passionately, im starting to have doubts in my head already, how does language come into the picture, language is closely linked to sports too because sports is international!! some links to sports careers there's more if you google
3. Energy - yes this is the most unlikely selection of all the choices here, but i feel truly inspired reading so many articles and news about the energy sector, hydropower, petroleum, renewable energy and it inspires me to dream about Greendium, a term i coined for type of stadium which i have yet to define it in wikipedia. haha someone's gonna beat me to it!! well i really do think this area is something i want to learn up given a chance and not being inhibited by my fear of Maths, Science and all things technical (no wonder i love language) . The closest non technical course is energy asset management which i find it fascinating, but also sounds like something out of the energy law school where negotiation, documentation, accounting on energy asset is part of the job scope, i dont see any inspiration in this area... because i see licensing, acquisition, almost a similar operations in what im doing now, sports. but i feel that energy is something i might be able to come to enjoy and making big bucks, im saying this with only 50% confidence careers in oil and gas the non technical side Energy Asset Management
4. Nursing - yes, dont laugh. im serious, its prbbly the maternal instinct that may be kicking in soon, but i have this weird desire to help people and nursing is a REAL physical skill where you can learn and apply to a person, its in a way technical. but can i handle sadness, can i handle trauma, can i handle the sight of the skinniest kid on earth and jab them with antibiotics? can i ? but i feel warm just thinking that i am finally useful, like it touches a soft part of me that i could give myself and volunteer myself to do anything to stop that pain in a person's life, if only i can be of help im gonna be the happiest person on earth. thats how nursing course would feel like. i can prbbly continue my passion in volunteering using nursing as my asset, right?
5. Language - YES YES YES!! without a doubt in a heartbeat if nothing stops me i will choose language, this is my deepest desire, i'm yearning so much to learn language and talk to people and learn about them and learn and just keep learning and transferring my knowledge and just communicate ideas and making this happen and bring some joy into a person's life, i know i will put so much effort in making this succeed i mean i could even memorize a foreign book just to proof my point if thats what it takes to succeed, it doesnt take a scientist to figure out that i've chosen language right from the start and there's no 2 ways about it!! nope i dont agree on taking it part time because thats not even a commitment!!! but suddenly, i wonder what can i do with language??? teaching assistant??? ....what about translating and interpreting? i have not even attempted that professionally im not sure if i can... i'm flawed and i am careless so i think thats my weaknesses in language because communicating an idea requires full understanding and precision in explaining ideas.... which i think i truly suck at, i mean come on, sometimes my boss dont even understand the way i speak my asian style language, i find that a failure, im referring myself not him, i bet this whole post is a blur water to you too, so you see, something i would love to learn is hampered by my worst weaknesses, vagueness, anyhow i googled multilingual vacancies there's actually hope!!!!
so now what, what do i do? as day goes by, im losing one day at a time resulting into a late entry into a desired college or university to join in my desired course, and i truly hate wasting time, it annoys me and bugs me like hell!!!